Archive through December 30 2000

[Tracy Smith]

to John Feeney.....too bad I look more like Molly Brown than Violet Jessop, OM. And I probably ACT more like Molly Brown, with a bit of Mae West's personality thrown in.

To Shelley, wonderful post. I guess all I'd need is a nice, wide bed with a springy mattress, fluffy, goosedown pillows and eiderdown quilt. A hot pot of tea, of course. A huge bathtub with "feet". That and my choice of male companion, narrowed down to a couple of choices...

 

[John M. Feeney]

Sam, you scalliwag! -- you stole my runner-up! The lovely and charismatic countess, under other circumstances would probably be my ideal, too. It's just that there's something wonderfully devilish about Violet, and the context did seem quite "randy". (I'd probably place the noble Countess high on a pedastal.)

Alas, Tracy! I like a feisty woman, and detect some hint of that in Ms. Jessop's photos. (Though perhaps it's just wishful thinking.) Molly Brown always did impress the hell out of me, and I always felt her film characterizations were generally too mild. What a gal!
("Duck, Hichens, DUCK!!!")

 

[Tracy Smith]

If I'd been in that lifeboat, I probably would have pitched Hichens overboard.

 

[John M. Feeney]

Tracy: I can't say I'd blame ya! I never said I *liked* the guy, just that maybe he's been getting an unmerited amount of flak.

(But then, from Senan's update -- on "Humanist ..." -- it looks like maybe that Capetown harbour master tale, if entirely false, can't be attributed to Hichens at all!)

Now about those stewardesses ...

(SLAP!) ...

(OK, OK. I'll behave ...)

Cheers!
John Feeney

 

[Sam Brannigan]

Hi John,

I'm sticking to the theory that under all that ettiquette and Edwardian prudishness lay an extremely passionate Countess.

Can you imagine the bubbling tension she induced among her coterie!?

Violet's lovely, but I want a stream of endless parties and cotillions.... Oh! What about the lovely Mrs. Marvin?

I wonder if she had a "cam-corder" with her... I'm sure you would allow that Shelley!?

And don't worry, as Jack Dawson said:

"You're still my number 1 gal!!!"

Cheers!

Sam

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Now you two guys are reminding me of those sappy fellas peering into the Turkish Bath in SOS whilst the toothsome Countess De R. was primping-stop- you're steaming up the glass. Try and tear yourselves away and come up with some nice engineering details for the ship- am out of my element here- I must have at LEAST triple screw- and turbine. I think the Mauretania may have been quadruple- what a honey! Now- what's the guy's name who designed the turbine- Parsons?

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Wait- am getting a mental picture of some snappy little turbine putt-putt showing off at the Cowles Regatta or something in 1905 or so- a little snappy craft called Turbinia or something like that with Parsons at the helm showing off?

 

[Sam Brannigan]

Sounds about right to me, Shelley!

I thought before that the ship should have those forward docking propellors that so many ships have today, but I think we would all like to see a flotilla of stout little tugs to show us the way to open sea, so out they go!

Reciprocating engines are a must, let's go for epic rather than efficient!

This is all very Titanicy, what I wouldn't have is a compass point where a swimming pool should be and a docking bridge at the stern where my helicopter landing pad should be!!

AAAAGGGHHH! Don't go too hard on me Shelley!!

Sam

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Top speed about 27 knots? Stabilizers of course- and LORAN is allowed!

 

[Michael H. Standart]

Well I for one want the conveiniences of the 21st Century. However those pesky photographers are another matter. I suppose we can use them a bait in the shark fishing contest. MOOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cordially,
Michael H. Standart

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Pull chain flush toilets- the latest thing- chamber pots too- all the modern conveniences for you Michael. And we must have mahoghany tub surrounds, marble washstands with china basins. One of the German liners had to rip out her marble washstands because she was so top-heavy- it may have been the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse. And white tile in the bath, pressed white hocking face towels smelling of lavender, Vinolia Otto Toilet Soap, rose water and glycerine- a back brush and rose talcum powder- a stewardess in that bibbed apron to dry my back- a steward for Tracy. Lush cotton bathsheets fresh every day, and ironed sheets hot off the presses. A bouquet of fresh flowers daily and French silk wallpapers, satin duvet cover, oriental rug, and a porthole OF COURSE. What else?

 

[Thomas Ford]

i noticed on the big ships they should really put in those moving sidewalks like in the big airports,we difinatly have to get us one of those around the deck,for those who choose to view instead of walk,lol

 

[Michael H. Standart]

Ohhhhhh Tom, with all that moves on a ship that your inner ear insists shouldn't be moving, the last thing you want is something that does move...unless you like the six-meals-a-day; three going down and three coming back up.

Trust me on this.

Shelley, I don't remember anything about the Kaiser Wilhelm having topweight problems, but the Imperator was notorious for it. It took two refits, cutting down the stacks and adding ballest to get it under some semblance of control.

Cordially,
Michael H. Standart

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Hmm. must look it up- I know the Imperator was a hunka hunka with that monstrous eagle- I seem to remember "Rolling Billy" was used to describe the top heavy ship loaded with marble dodads and heavy fittings. I think it is in The Only Way to Cross- still one of my fav books- one winter I sneaked one of those booklights under the sheets so as not to wake the extremely cranky Captain and stayed up half the night with Maxtone-Graham! My dream ship MUST have a late-night readingroom for us insomniacs! With a bar please. I wonder- did Titanic actually have FIRE in the fireplaces in the public rooms? This may be a dumb question but I have never seen it posed anywhere.

 

[Michael H. Standart]

Hmmmmmm...topweight problems were present on several liners, including the Lusitania and Mauratania. One of the reasons for this was because of the propensity for making large public spaces which could be two or even three deck levels high on some ships. Of course, to enclose all that meant that they had to enclose these spaces within the superstructure of the ship and that brought with it a weight penalty. I have three of Maxtone-Graham's books, including The Only Way To Cross. An excellant read!

Cordially,
Michael H. Standart

 

[Sam Brannigan]

Thomas

Christmas dinner lethargy is no excuse for missing a brisk walk round the decks!

You and I shall be the first members of the the eminent Ms. Dziedzic's coterie, ensuring she is protected from the likes of Mr. Feeney, who by all accounts "is immersed in the North Atlantic Poker Company" (say no more)

I'm sure, like me and our illustrious fellow designers, that you will not include a figurehead in your dream design. The press ("Titanic Voices...") of the time longed for the good old days, but whatever happened to Imperator's monstrous carbuncle - I know she lost it, but how?

First definitive answer gets a bottle of Chateau Palmer 1976, cos xmas has been so good!

Tell me how to post it too, cos one of you is bound to get it!!
Must have definitive, documented evidence of claim on this page!! If I run out, I'll get you something better!

I've tried this stuff, it is heaven!!!!

Enter Phil!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regards

Sam

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

The Big Bird got its wings clipped in a heavy swell and it looked so dreadful, the rest of the sad carcass was removed. Cough up the bottle!!

 

[Sam Brannigan]

which heavy swell, and where? Give me references etc. I'm not playing hard to get but I wanna see you guys shift!!!

Come on Shelley, nearly there!!!

 

[Tracy Smith]

Heavy swell and poker.......hmmmm

 

[John M. Feeney]

Indeed, Tracy! And here my good name's being besmirched by folks who but thinly veil their own tempestuous lusts with phrases like "lay an extremely passionate Countess" and "I must have at LEAST triple screw"! (And something about ... a quadruple would be a honey?)

Why, I never! (But I'd like to.)