What "evident"? How do we know Captain Smith did not order Wilde and Murdoch to load the lifeboats "as full as you considered safe" or something like that? None of the three survived. Lightoller might have been there too but conveniently "forgotten" the exchange.Therefore when the order is given to lower the boats, surely this the time to tell your officers you may lower the boat at water level, but make sure the boats are filled before rowing away. More evident can be seen he not give that order to fill the boats
As for Lightoller's testimony, I have always felt that the statements were carefully modulated to show himself up rather positively. The more "heroic" sounding statements like the one suggesting that Lightoller had to almost urge a semi-dazed captain to start loading lifeboats, or the "Not bloody likely!" quip or the business about going under with the ship only to be blown free by a jet of hot air etc - all unwitnessed by any survivor and so unverifiable.