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[Encyclopedia Titanica]

You have all ground me down so far that I need a holiday

Off to Wales for three days. I hear there are gales and floods so that should be fun.

I'm back on Friday so behave(!), Cook's in charge.

 

[George Behe]

Hi, Phil!

Wait a minute! Is Pat Cook a Lordite or an anti-Lordite?

All my best,

George

 

[Pat Cook]

OOOH NOOOO, George, you're not calling ME out! I shall remain unbiased and whenever necessary, retreat entirely to some friendlier thread. Maybe, even find Phil and wonder why the HECK he shoved this off on ME??!!

Warmest regards,
Cook

 

[Randy Bryan Bigham]

Captain Cook,

Well, unbiasaed or not, just be careful who you invite to dine with you at your table the next couple of days. There seem to be some right "ornery" folks out there on both sides-a the question, hoss. We don't want some gall-dern bar fight eruptin' while Captain Sir Philip is away!

Randy

 

[Inger Sheil]

Excellent choice, Phil - possibly the one person in the whole shebang of whom no one has anything ill to say. Considering he's so proactively involved in Titanic research, that's nothing short of miraculous.

Have a splendid break, and we look forward to your return.

Ing

 

[Pat Cook]

No, no, folks, he's kidding - he'll be back. I'm not in charge of anything. He's just giving me a hard time. Why? I don't know. First, Molony and now Hind. What did I EVER do? I try to live right, take my vitamins, always be nice to small animals and children. Why, I knows my place, I does. I would never try to rise above my station; I know what's what, I does. Now, WHERE did he put his books?

Smiling from behind his desk,
Uriah Cook

 

[John M. Feeney]

Hey!

Who says I'm ornery?

(Um ... uh ... oops! Did I just walk into that one?)

Er, um ... :^)

Pat, again LOVED your article. Absolutely the work of an impeccably kind, incredibly tolerant, patient AND loveable teddy bear of a guy!

Cheers!

 

[John M. Feeney]

P.S. And real salt of the earth, too! :^)

(How'm I doin'?)

 

[Fiona Nitschke]

Hangorn Phil... I've just got regular internet access again and you're orf - coincidence? Sorry, that was rhetorical.

Cook? In charge? Kewl - looks like a good time to pop back after all. Now, where did Phil leave the key to the bar?

Quick you mob, tickle Cook and I'll go through his pockets... Oops, or given contention on another thread should that be thou mob? Oh sod it, can't find the dictionary. Youse mob - youse know what to do.

And now I'm orf to wade through all the stuff I've missed. Should only take about a month methinks: see youse all then!

Cheers, F} J

ps Have thyself a luverly holiday Phil, Lorna and thee. I'm sure Cook'll do his level best to make sure no one trashes this joint while you're gorn.

 

[Pat Cook]

Feeney, you're an apple-polisher! And I love it! (That phrase alone should tell you how old I am!)

So, Miss Fiona! You've shown up with a plan to tickle me and abscond with the goods, eh? You better find quite a few aides for the job. Did you ever read "Moby Dick". That was based on my little brother.

Best regards, ye hardies,
Ahab Cook

 

[Mark Baber]

>So, Miss Fiona! You've shown up with a plan to tickle me and abscond with the goods, >eh? You better find quite a few aides for the job.

G'day, Fi...

I'm not about to try to tickle Cook, but I may be particularly well-suited to putting him in a bear hug or half-nelson while you run his pockets, without the need for any other "aides". Let me know, OK?

;-)

MAB

 

[Mike Herbold]

So, Mr. Cook:
Did you get the keys and everything? Can you turn off that little button that makes swear words turn into three red stars? Did Lorna go with Phil, or is she peaking over your shoulder?
BTW, do you make up the passwords now? I'd like to change mine. So, answer Behe's question: are you Lord-like or Lord-no?

 

[Maureen Zottoli]

This isn't Pat Cook I tell you it is Rod Serling and he's kidnapped Phil and the little red stars button. And is a Lord-maybe-so-or-no Cook, direct descendant of the infamous Captain Hook Cook.

Pat isn't smiling, so Lorna must be with Phil.
Maureen.

 

[John M. Feeney]

>>Feeney, you're an apple-polisher! ... (That phrase alone should tell you how old I am!)<<

Now I'm beginning to feel really dated. Why it *seems* like only just the other day... (@)
(cryptic ASCII apple graphic -- best I could do on short notice.)

Cheers!

 

[Pat Cook]

So, Mark, decided to throw in with the mutineers, eh? I'll not stand for this! Having said that I will sit down. That half Nelson sounds painful? - can I opt for, say, a quarter Nelson? That's either a grip around my ankle or time for scones, one or the other.

Mike, I'm remaing 'mum' as to what Phil left me with plus my stand on the Californian issue. (In his best Peter Lorre voice: 'You don't unnerstan'! I haf friends on both SIDES!')

Mo, - Soooo, you think Pat...er, I'VE been replicated, cloned, replaced if you will, by a sinister, albeit omnipotent, power answerable only to itself, without any reason, without any responbility and vouchsafed upon this planet with only one purpose in mind - Uuuh, no, it's me!

John, I had no idea you were THAT old! And don't worry - when Phil asks for my report on each member, you'll get good marks. You WILL still be nice to me after he returns, right?

Best wishes to all,
Lord Cook