Medical Remedies

Bob Godfrey

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Nov 22, 2002
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I must confess, Mon, that I have personally never waved a flag or cheered the Royals, and I generally drive down the centre of the road. Also I dislike jellied eels - as you know, I'm a pie & mash man. BUT beer at anything lower than ambient temperature will never pass my lips.
 
Jan 28, 2003
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I remember the pie & mash episode well. Since then, I have never acquiesced to the nostalgic food urgings of others. It was OK in its way, I suppose, since I didn't end up in A & E. I managed basically, and I liked the ancient tiles on the wall and the dangerous-looking patrons sitting alongside us, and the gravy was better than the eel-and-parsley sauce. It was an experience. And nobody said I was a toff, and threatened me. Not even you, Bob. But the pie was terrible ...

Incidentally, I'm sure the bee on the Gent's porcelain urinal was in the Princess Louise pub, because I don't think I'd ever heard of such a brilliant innovation until you came galloping up out of the basement, saying that you'd missed the target ...
 

Bob Godfrey

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Nov 22, 2002
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You haven't mentioned why the target was a bee. I don't want to spell it out, but for the benefit of those without a classical education the latin for bee is apis. There's an alternative theory that this was originally intended as an insult to Britain's great enemy Napoleon, in whose family coat of arms bees featured prominently. Certainly at the time of the Napoleonic wars chamber pots were commonly decorated on the inside with images of the emperor gazing upwards in horrified expectation. More recently there has been a revival for insect targets in urinals, but the housefly seems now to be favoured over the bee. All of this of course begs the question: were there bees in Titanic's toilets? I don't know, but if I ever find out you'll read about it here.
 

Bob Godfrey

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Nov 22, 2002
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Be fair, Mon. Admit that you were wide-eyed in anticipation when you caught sight of that pie & mash dinner, and couldn't believe that mountain of delights was all for you. You savoured it, lingering a full two hours over those marrowfat peas. Just look at this pic taken at the time. Yes, that's you - clearly a woman who can't wait to get stuck in. And check out those prices. When I show a lady a good time I don't do it on the cheap. British cuisine at its best. And what did I get on the day when you chose the menu? Thai fish cakes. And on that occasion we did end up in A&E.

p&m.jpg xmas menu.jpg

p&m.jpg


xmas menu.jpg
 
Jan 28, 2003
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I'd forgotten about your penchant for taking photos of me looking horrified, appalled, bewildered etc. You must have many more. Keep them to yourself, please, though it's nice to see me in my new coat. I can't believe that I, a Latin scholar, failed to see the connection with a bee and apis. The shame ....
 
Jan 6, 2005
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Iowa, USA
Bob: As much as I personally would like to take you up on your very kind offer to swear fealty to the Queen, I'm afraid my countrymen are less enthusiastic. They've heard of something over there called Spotted Dick, and they want no part of it, even if they don't know exactly what it is.

Oh, and Monica - my frugal lunch today was baked beans on toast and builder's tea. Not every Yank spends his days gorging at McDonald's.
 

Bob Godfrey

Member
Nov 22, 2002
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I'd best not provide a detailed description of spotted dick, Sandy, as we don't want you colonials having nightmares. Suffice it to say that it makes an excellent follow-up to a main course of toad in the hole with a side dish of bubble & squeak. Glad to see that you've been lining your ribs with beans on toast, which is staple fare on this side of the Pond and good practice should you ever be tempted to cross the Atlantic to indulge your developing taste for fine dining. Be sure, however, to avoid the bland Heinz variety. Always demand the much more tasty Crosse & Blackwell beans, which disappeared from the market for a while but have now returned under the Branston label. That's Branston famous for their pickles, not Branson of Virgin fame. Builders, by the way, are the only people with any money in the UK these days. So they've given up on tea and developed a taste for Château Lafite Rothschild.

Now I have to impart some sad news for all those of you who may be planning a trip to Woolwich in SE London to sample that wonderful menu shown above. Too late I'm afraid, as the eel and pie emporium in question closed its doors for the last time a couple of years ago owing to a growing shortage of dangerous-looking patrons. What a relief, Mon, that we got there just in time.
 
Jan 6, 2005
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Bob: You think spotted dick confuses people over here? You should have heard the nervous titters when the Queen announced she had an annus horribilus. Most of us just shuddered and said, "Isn't everyone's?"
 
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Bob Godfrey

Member
Nov 22, 2002
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That's actually my young nephew, Mon, but it's good to see him following my prescribed technique so closely. I do recognise my gin and my ciggies, so I'll be keeping a better eye on him next time he visits. One extra tip - I always iron a shirt while wearing it, as that takes care of my long johns at the same time.