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Message: [QUOTE="Jim Kalafus, post: 280048, member: 139751"] Captain Willmott was a portly, middle aged man. Investigators later found empty bottles of alcohol in his office safe. He had been acting glum; sluggish and lethargic, for several days before his death. His last meal, taken in his cabin, consisted of finnan haddie (fish) and melon. His last words, delivered by telephone, were the immortal "Send me up an enema." When the steward with the thankless task of helping to purge the captain arrived, he found Willmott with his pants and underpants around his ankles, artfully draped over the side of the bath tub. He had a 'horrible' expression on his face; had turned blue, and was non-responsive. He seemed to have been in the process of rising from the toilet when The Reaper struck. Several doctors traveling aboard the ship were discretely called in to reenforce what the ship's doctor had already decreed: heart attack. Although Van Zile, the Morro Castle's doctor, broke his neck jumping from the ship wearing a life jacket, there is absolutely no ambiguity about his diagnosis, since notes were recovered from his pocket stating 'heart attack.' Now, one can either choose to believe the elaborate conspiracy theory, or one can interpret this as being a middle aged man who was overweight and who drank, who was constipated for several glum, lethargic, days, and then died of a heart attack while trying to force a bowel movement. [/QUOTE]