My Titanic Poems

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Holly Peterson

Guest
Hello! I wanted to share with you some Titanic poetry I wrote for fun. The first poem is about Annie Funk, who gave up her seat in a lifeboat for a woman with children. I did a school project about her and also wrote this poem for the theme 'Underappreciated Heroes.' The second one I wrote about the children of the Titanic, and how special it is for me to find a picture of one of them.

The stars cast shimmering radiance
Upon the sea of glass
The mighty ship, queen of the sea
Engulfed by ocean’s maw

As ocean waves swept over the deck
And chaos reigned supreme,
One woman filled with God’s great love
Stood selfless, calm and bold

Her key to safety she gave up
For a mother and her child
Though time has swept her face away
Her brave soul rests with God

* * *
I see their faces
Every day
In olden photos
Dull and grey

Smiling brightly,
Young and gay,
Not knowing the fate
That looms in their way

Those who were saved
Are treasures rare
Do they know that?
How will they fare?

As for the lost,
Their souls fly free
In boundless heavens
Above the sea

Through photos gray
Their faces gleam
Fragments of lives
Distant as dreams

I hope you like them!
 
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Holly Peterson

Guest
I've got another poem I thought up here, one about the children who died (and one who survived) on the Titanic. It should be fairly obvious to figure out who each verse refers to, but instead of telling you, I'm going to let you guess! Please read and review (please, please, please!) and leave your guesses as to who each verse of this poem refers to (the second verse could be one of three people.)

He was just sixteen
A proud young man
Head held high to meet his fate
Sank like a statue ‘mong the waves
Too young to die
Too old to live
Just sixteen

She was only ten
Bright-eyed young girl
Grasped mother’s hands as death crept near
Life dragged away by ocean’s leer
Too sweet to die
Too poor to live
Only ten

He was one year old
Carved by God’s hands
Found rocked by waves into eternal sleep
Slumbers now in tomb so deep
To God we cry
Why, why, why?
One year old

She was just two months
And yet she lived
Helpless babe came through it all
Innocence lived while mighty men fall
To those who died
We raise our cry
Rest in peace
 
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Holly Peterson

Guest
P.S. In case you're wondering, the first poem isn't supposed to rhyme.
 
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Ben Lemmon

Member
My guess is that the first one is Mr. Alfred Rush, the one who accompanied the Goldsmiths on their trip. I would guess that the second one is either Miss Elizabeth Ada Sage, Miss Jessie Allis Goodwin, or Miss Catharina Van Impe. The third one is definitely Master Sidney Leslie Goodwin. I am thinking that the last one is Miss (or Mrs. now) Millvina Dean, the last remaining survivor of the Titanic.

I like how your poems sound. I think that you could do more poems. I think, though, that you should incorporate different styles of poetry. Maybe include a limerick or haiku. That would sound cool. You could also do something like this (though I forget what it is called at the moment):
Say line A has six syllables, line B has eight, line C has 10, and line D has four. Then you set it up like this:

A
C
C
A

B
D
B
D

A
B
A
B

C
C
D
D . . . . etc.

Then you have one spiffy looking poem. It doesn't have to rhyme but has to have the same amount of prescribed syllables for every letter. That's what I would venture to do next, since you seem to have the main types of poems down pat.

And sorry for what I said earlier. I don't think that it was my place to say something like that. Shall we let bygones be bygones?
 
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Holly Peterson

Guest
Thank you for reviewing my poems, Benjamin! You are absolutely right about all the people you guessed in the poem. And yes, let's let bygones be bygones. I did get really worked up about what you said but eventually I just decided to let off some steam and calm down. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I guess I have been a bit annoying always asking for poetry reviews. I guess all it comes to is this: I'm really glad to be part of such a great, thriving community like this, and to be accepted by such nice people. I hated to feel like I wasn't welcome but I guess I overreacted. Apology accepted?
 
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Ben Lemmon

Member
quote:

Apology accepted?

Of course. I know how eager I was when I first started here, though that was only in January. It's pretty cool how quickly you can change when you have such great people to talk with, don't you agree?​
 
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Caroline Walker

Member
Holly, I just wanted to say that your poems are beautiful! Emotional with such sweet words and gorgeous visualizations. I am (kind of) a poet myself, so it's always extra fun to see the work of a wonderful poet like yourself. Keep up the great work!
Happy
 
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Taylor Marino

Member
Those are great poems!!! Keep it up. GREAT !!!!!!!!

Thanks,
Taylor
 
Dave Gittins

Dave Gittins

Member
I've read worse, notably the horrible example on my site (towards the bottom of the page).

http://users.senet.com.au/~gittins/Verse.html

I like the second poem best. It's nicely understated, which is something much needed when writing about Titanic. I suggest using fairly strict forms and rhymes. Such things force you to think and look for the best words. Totally free verse leads to sloppy work. Avoid adjectives, unless they are totally appropriate. Most of them have been done to death and carry no weight, such as the 'shimmering' in your first poem.

Try a sonnet. I've written an un-rhymed one and if you are naughty I'll inflict it on you!
 
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