" perpetuated the myth that the Titanic collided with an iceberg "
Oh lumme - what did she hit this time ?
(1) The Flying Dutchman
(2) The USS Nimitz - bizzarely sucked through a time-warp in space , the crew of the Nimitz struggle to return to the right time and place. Travelling from age to age it is their job to put right what once went wrong, then make the next leap into the unknown ...each time hoping that the next leap <choke> will be the leap home...
(3) The SS Saucy Sue - on board which we would find Kaiser Wilhelm II, The King of Siam, his Holiness the Pope, several freemasons, a couple of Jesuits and a bunch of ladies of negotiable virtue...and an awful lot of alcohol.
- Gimme za fekkin wheel, ah'm allright tae drive
- Quick, your Holiness, get the Kaiser out of the wheelhouse
- Fekkaffyebams - CRUMP !!!! - oops <hic>
(4) Captain Nemo - having retreated to the polar wastes to meditate and excise from his brain the horror that was "League of Extra-Ordinary Gentlemen "
(5) Some very annoyed narwhals - ze essential beauty of zeir very regimented mating rituals being interrupted by ze arrival of a whacking great 45,000 ton mail zteamer, zese beautiful creatures indulge in ze life-or-death stroogle veeth zese interlopaire - and triomphe !!! Oooh la la !!! L'amour - tojour l'amour
(6) Chief Officer Wilde - annoyed that his wife had left him, that the ship seemed dodgy, and that no-one can remember what he looks like, goes bananas with a chain saw
(7) Rose what's her face from the movie - its an insurance scam to keep the jewel. But her evil plan was foiled by " The Ghost-who-walks" ( disguised as her fiance ) and she just made up all that tosh about having her picture drawn in the scud.
(8) The daleks ( Dr Who is coming back !!! So any publicity I can give it, I will )
(9) The secret explosives Winston Churchill placed in the forward hold went off , blowing a ruddy great hole in her bottom and...umm, wait a minute, I've got two pages stuck together here
and number 10
(10) She never sank at all, it's all a con to get the first class passengers off so the ship could be towed to China where all the women were sold off to white slave traders and the men were sent up to the moon to build a top secret base for Fu Manchu who had developed his own home mad atom bomb. ( copyright - Clive Cussler 1965 ( age 12 1/2 ))
Maybe she hit The Man From Atlantis or Poseidon, God Of The Sea, on his way to officiate at the 100m Freestyle at the Athens Olympics.
So, this new book...is this going to offer conclusive proof that the Titanic did not in fact hit an iceberg but something else which caused it to sink?
Or maybe it was all down to Captain Smith's parrot:
A magician is employed to perform at Captain Smith's table each evening on the Titanic. On the first night he is about to entertain the dinner guests when Smith's parrot squawks "It's up his sleeve!". Peeved, the magician abandons the performance, the parrot having given away the key to his trick.
The next evening, the magician once again tries to do his magic tricks in front of the eagerly awaiting crowd when Smith's parrot squawks even more loudly "He's got two decks of cards!".
The magician storms off, having been rumbled by that bloody parrot again. The next night, as the magician is about to attempt more tricks, the Titanic suddenly hits the iceberg and a couple of hours later the ship slips below the waves.
The magician and the Captain's parrot somehow find themselves alone in a lifeboat. For four days they are in this lifeboat, each one eyeing the other with great suspicion until the parrot finally breaks his silence: "Go on then, I give up. Tell me how you made the ship disappear".
By the way, I have several feelers out attempting to find out a bit more about the content of the Collin's new book. Nothing worth reporting has come through yet, but I am working on it!
I might also add that although it is entertaining to poke innocent fun at a book, we need to be careful not to damn a book before it has even be released. Very often the promotional department's of these companies make outrageous claims in order to create media buzz. That may or may not be an effective technique, but it does make the book look bad in circles like this site, where most of us are a bit more knowledgeable than the average person on the subject.
My point being that, although most of us disagree with many of the Captain's theories from his first book (including myself), he has debated his point of view on this board in good faith. Several of the prominant names who also post here have stated that Collins is a man whose experience and reputation are first rate. We're not talking about a Robin Gardiner here.
Now I could be completely wrong, and Collins may have indeed gone off the deep end with this new book. But it seems only fair to read what he has come up with before we trash it.
Dave and Ian
Usually I like folks with a sense of humour. Unfortunately for both of you I don't see one in either of you. What a shame there isn't more constructive criticism, like after the book has come out....
>>Several of the prominant names who also post here have stated that Collins is a man whose experience and reputation are first rate.<<
Quite right, we have. While I don't agree with Duke's "No Iceberg" thesis, he still has a lot of knowladge and experience in actual ice navigation that is seldom heard from in the Titanic community. Somehow, I doubt that the book will have anything especially new, but I'm willing to reserve judgement until I read it for myself as my hunch could be mistaken.
Even if we end up still disagreeing on general terms with his ideas, that doesn't mean that the book won't have some very useful information on the problems of navigation in ice.
I am more than likely going to buy the book when it comes out in November - anything to do with the Titanic I have to have in my collection. I'm not slating Collins theory at all - I'm willing to read and consider what he has to say - but what I do take exception to is "Mystery Solved" as if this book conclusively puts to rest any ideas that went before it. Pretty brave if you ask me.
As I see it, Im not criticising the book, I am theorising (albeit not seriously) as to what could possibly have made the Titanic sink if, as Collins would appear to claim, the iceberg was nothing to do with it. I believe, in lieu of the book release in November, we can speculate until then as to the cause of Titanic's demise (if not the iceberg). After all, our theories are as valid as Collins' are.
As Michael T said, "Mystery Solved" might have come from the promotional department. I am well aware of Collins contribution to this site and therefore know that he isn't a crackpot.
Christina, your telling me you don't see me as having a sense of humour certainly doesn't detract from the fact that I think I do.
Dave and Iain. Well, stap me vitals a squabble in the ready room! I don't know whether I feel flattered or insulted to be called 'sir'. But I'm sure we're all ready and waiting to slag off or praise whatever the author has to say, come November....Ooo aarrhh!
The main gist of his previous book is that the Titanic collided with floe ice, not an ice berg, and that the Titanic sank intact, and at a depth of a few hundred feet, capsized, was carried east by a 6 knot current (taking over two hours), before sinking to the bottom; the ship was broken in two by the 1929 underwater earthquake.
Re: The main gist of (Collin's) previous book is that the Titanic collided with floe ice, not an ice berg, and that the Titanic sank intact, and at a depth of a few hundred feet, capsized, was carried east by a 6 knot current (taking over two hours), before sinking to the bottom; the ship was broken in two by the 1929 underwater earthquake.
Interesting. I did not read his earlier book, but I am fascinated how he figured out all that.
Perhaps we can derive our own theories as well:
1. The Titanic was struck by the Loch Ness Monster (on Holiday from Scotland); and
2. The Titanic sank in a corkscrew maneuver; and
3. At a depth of a few hundred feet, the ship was seized by several thousand mermaids; and
4. Gently deposited on the bottom; and
5. The ship was broken in two, not by the 1929 underwater earthquake, but by the evil Sea Witch, Ursula.
All this obtained from "the vegetables of one of our member's family", aka the "Carrotts of Ben's Aunts" (and worse than that, I remember a derivation of that term used by a current UK MP, on a comedy/variety show, when she used to be an actress. Yes, I'm betraying my age).
Now we'll have to work on our theory about the "Dewski Traveler" & The Toronto Connection, both involving time travel.