" perpetuated the myth that the Titanic collided with an iceberg "
Oh lumme - what did she hit this time ?
(1) The Flying Dutchman
(2) The USS Nimitz - bizzarely sucked through a time-warp in space , the crew of the Nimitz struggle to return to the right time and place. Travelling from age to age it is their job to put right what once went wrong, then make the next leap into the unknown ...each time hoping that the next leap <choke> will be the leap home...
(3) The SS Saucy Sue - on board which we would find Kaiser Wilhelm II, The King of Siam, his Holiness the Pope, several freemasons, a couple of Jesuits and a bunch of ladies of negotiable virtue...and an awful lot of alcohol.
- Gimme za fekkin wheel, ah'm allright tae drive
- Quick, your Holiness, get the Kaiser out of the wheelhouse
- Fekkaffyebams - CRUMP !!!! - oops <hic>
(4) Captain Nemo - having retreated to the polar wastes to meditate and excise from his brain the horror that was "League of Extra-Ordinary Gentlemen "
(5) Some very annoyed narwhals - ze essential beauty of zeir very regimented mating rituals being interrupted by ze arrival of a whacking great 45,000 ton mail zteamer, zese beautiful creatures indulge in ze life-or-death stroogle veeth zese interlopaire - and triomphe !!! Oooh la la !!! L'amour - tojour l'amour
(6) Chief Officer Wilde - annoyed that his wife had left him, that the ship seemed dodgy, and that no-one can remember what he looks like, goes bananas with a chain saw
(7) Rose what's her face from the movie - its an insurance scam to keep the jewel. But her evil plan was foiled by " The Ghost-who-walks" ( disguised as her fiance ) and she just made up all that tosh about having her picture drawn in the scud.
(8) The daleks ( Dr Who is coming back !!! So any publicity I can give it, I will )
(9) The secret explosives Winston Churchill placed in the forward hold went off , blowing a ruddy great hole in her bottom and...umm, wait a minute, I've got two pages stuck together here
and number 10
(10) She never sank at all, it's all a con to get the first class passengers off so the ship could be towed to China where all the women were sold off to white slave traders and the men were sent up to the moon to build a top secret base for Fu Manchu who had developed his own home mad atom bomb. ( copyright - Clive Cussler 1965 ( age 12 1/2 ))