Poseidon Adventure


John Clifford

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Lainie Kazan was BORN to play Belle Rosen....
I loved her portrayal of Maria Portakolis (Nia Vardalis' mom) in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". I now want to see "Beaches" again, to see her portrayal of Bette Midler's mom.
Yes, she'd be great as Belle.

Perhaps Nia Vardalis could play either Linda Roggo or Susan Shelby, and John Corbett could play Terry ("Susan, would you like to dance?").

One possibility for Linargos: Allan Rickman, Professor Snape from the HARRY POTTER films; makes an interesting villian/dark character.

Perhaps the other "Greek Wedding" stars, Michael Considine and Andrea Thomas (father and Aunt Voula) can play the doctor and nurse; I do hope I got the names and spelling right.
Imagine Ms. Thomas delivering the line of "They're suppositories. You, you, don't swallow them...".

By the way Iain, what happened to the actor who played Joe, the Chief Engineer ("...You know what the problem is: it's that ***** Linargos!!!)?
 

Jim Kalafus

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ENGINEER JOE: Well, he (John Crawford- 1926) went from The Poseidon Adventure into The Severed Arm (1973) which I KNOW you've seen (everyone has) during your high school or college years. That's the one where 5 men are trapped in a cave and they draw straws with the intent to kill and eat the loser in order to survive. Hapless victim of circumstance no sooner has his arm severed than the rescuers arrive. Shortly thereafter the other 4 men are killed off one by one by a maniac who severs their arms. Coincidence? Costars the most underrated of all the actresses who played Gidget, Deborah Walley. John Crawford plays "Doc." From there he went into Towering Inferno (1974) Desperate Women (1978) Tilt (in which Brooke Shields did for the late 1970s fad of flashy pinball what Linda Blair did for Roller Boogie) Elvis and the Beauty Queen (as Vernon Presley) and the studio-released horror film with the most inane name to surface in the 1980s- The Boogens (1982) in which a western town, not unlike my hometown, is overrun by...wellllll....Boogens. His cinematic swansong that was, and I was among the lucky few to pay to see it in its brief run, drawn in by that stupid title and by the fact it was the only film playing in town. His career ended with an appearance on Hardcastle And McCormick in 1986. In short- it was a steady downhill skid after Poseidon
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although he made at least three films a year each year after that. Had been in films since the 1940s. Went from starring opposite the likes of Janet Leigh and Eleanor Parker and Stella Stevens, to starring alongside....Boogens. That says something sad about Hollywood, 'though I am not sure what.
 
Jul 12, 2003
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Poseidon question....if something like that did happen, is it really possible for the ship to float upside the way for any length of time?
 

John Clifford

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Jim, I also remember two rather campy horror films that featured "Poseidon" stars:
1. Shelly Winters in "The Devil's Daughter", an ABC TV film that debuted in the mid-70s (when ABC ran the Tuesday & Wednesday night movies); and
2. Carol Lynley, I believe, was in a movie called "Picture Mommy Dead".

Those two films I chose NOT to watch in their entirety.
I did, though, get to see Carol Lynley in "Return To Peyton Place", the film where she prances down the streets of the small town exclaiming "I'm an author!!!", after her book was accepted for publication.

At least that film had the wonderful line near the end of the film where, after the Town Council overrode the School Board's decision to ban Carol's character's story, and reinstate her stepfather as high school principal (to the chagrin of Mary Astor's Roberta Carter), the official vote was one "Nay", by a man who states "I don't like unanimous decisions. They're not good for a Democracy!!".

I also remember seeing another special showing of "Poseidon Adventure" in 2002, again at the Queen Mary (the film was shown at the bottom of the Exhibit Hall, near where the surviving characters were heading).
Interesting facts: the film's director, Ronald Neame, said "It's a wonder my dear friend Shelly Winters didn't drown trying to talk underwater". He referred to the fact that she "violated the Central Rule" of "Only the Director yells 'CUT!'".
If Tom Hanks gets cast in the remake, that lesson is noteworthy, as he used that in his film "Nothing In Common" (one of the last ones starring Jackie Gleason).

That night they also had the woman who played the passenger who uttered the line of "The Purser's right!!". I can't remember her name, but she said that's what she will be remembered for (she long since retired from acting).

Also, Stuntman Ernie Orsatti was interviewed, and he admitted that when they filmed that scene, he made a tremendous blunder, wearing white socks, not something one does when attending a formal night on an ocean liner.
Yes, they found a pair of dark socks in wardrobe.

BTW, Jim, what part did John Crawford play in "Towering Inferno"?
Sheila Matthews was the Mayor's wife, and Erik Nielsen was the building maintenance supervisor.
The other interesting casting notes from "Towering Inferno": Robert Wagner, Susan Flannery (for the "B&B" serial fans), and "Bobby Brady" Mike Lookinland. I'm presuming people remembered Susan Blakely, Richard Chamberlain, and William Holden in the film, as well as Fred Astaire and Jennifer Jones.

Another interesting thought: Tom Hanks was mentioned as the rebellious priest. Imagine if his counterpart was played as a contemporary, not a mentor; we could cast Peter Scolari as Father John. Tom Hanks & Peter Scolari remained friends from their "Bosom Buddy" days (Peter Scolari was even cast in one of Tom Hanks early films).
Perhaps the "bun lady" could be played by their former castmate Holland Taylor, if Ms. Taylor is still actively taking film and TV roles (yes I remember her from the NBC series about tabloid newspapers - that was unfortunately cast after Princess Diana's death - and "George of the Jungle").

I also thought of another "Greek Wedding" tie-in: if Nia Vardalos plays Susan, then the actress who played her cousin Nikki could be Linda; that would be a "casting coup", IMHO.
 

John Clifford

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Now "The $64 Question": if we could be in a remake of "Poseidon Adventure", who would we be?

I mentioned playing the role of the the waiter grumbling about Nonnie Parry singing "Morning After", but I'll let another Listmember play that part (this is assuming that one of the ladies here on ET plays "Nonnie": how good are your singing voices? "I'd end up being thrown overboard"
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).

Instead, I can be Father John, but only if "J.T." can be Reverend Scott; either that, or I'm the Captain to his Linargos.

In the latter casting, I can deliver the description of Poseidon to "Linda's" statement, "So that's the cat this ship is named after"; no I won't have the statute resemble anyone here, to give new meaning to "Quite an ill-tempered fellow".

Unfortunately our characters will still get killed off, "such is life".

Okay: who would want to be which character???
 
Mar 28, 2002
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Right, I will now attempt this for a third time. Should it fail I will unplug the bloody thing and lob it out of the window.

There seems to be a pattern developing between the Poseidon Adventure and other disaster movies. A bit like Six Degrees....

JOHN CRAWFORD (Chief Engineer Joe) (b.1926) - played Mr Callahan in The Towering Inferno.

BOB HASTINGS (New Year's party M.C.) (b.1925) - is the voice of Commissioner James "Jim" Gordon in the 80's and 90's Batman movies. He also appeared in Airport 75 with Karen "Twitchy-Eye" Black and Terror n the 40th Floor with John "Blake Carrington" Forsyth.

CHARLES BATEMAN (First Officer Larsen) - appeared in many 80's soaps including Dallas, Santa Barbara, Days Of Our Lives etc.

ERNIE F ORSETTI (Terry, Susan's date) (b.1940) - appeared in Towering Inferno as Mike Powers. He was also the stunt co-ordinator on such films as The D.A., Cheaper By The Dozen, Black Knight and Big Momma's House.

ORWIN C HARVEY (Falling Man) (b.1926) - a circus high diver by early profession, he also stunted in Earthquake, Towering Inferno and Hindenburg.

LARRY HOLT (Falling Man, again) - also stunted in Earthquake, Towering Inferno and Rollercoaster. I assume he was one of the unfortunates who was mashed flat early on in the film.

Did anybody mention that Sheila Allen was married to Irwin Allen?

ERIK L NELSON (Tinkham, Bridge Officer) also played Wes (Untility Worker) in Towering Inferno.

ELIZABETH ROGERS (Woman next to Tinkham - what the hell?) - being a personal friend of Irwin and Sheila Allen, she was given the part of Lady In Buoy Chair in Towering Inferno.

Does anybody know what film Shelley Winters starred in, set on the Isle of Wight about a man who kills his nagging wife? I think it's Something To Hide (1972) but I'm not sure.

Cheers,

Boz
 

Jim Kalafus

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You missed the end of the Devil's Daughter? Well, Shelley tricks the vapid female lead into marrying Satan- said idiot does not figure it out until his eyes begin to glow at which point she whines at Shelley "you TRICKED me!"

Return to Peyton Place- favorite moment: Eleanor Parker gives Carol a stinging facial slap. The two were paired again in the Fantasy Island pilot episode. A muast see- in the pilot, Roarke is evil and most of the guests end up dead damaged or humiliated. Eleanor oplays a mill owner who want to know whom, amongst her relatives can be trusted so she fakes her own death. Sister Carol, the family drunk figures it out and plans to rkill E.P. with the help of Peter Lawford, Eunice's (aka Eleanor) phildandering husband. Carol takes Eleanor to the top of a cliff and gets a good running start. There is a long shot of a body plunging into the sea and a quick cut to a funeral at which Mr Roake is officiating. The twist ending?

ROARKE: Well, Mrs. Baines it seems you did not get to attend your OWN funeral.
ELEANOR: I didn't miss by much, either. But for the grace of God (pause) and Elizabeth losing her footing.

Carol also gets called a tramp and gets a stinging facial slap in The Pleasure Seekers, which is a terrible film but not fun to watch like many of her others.

Were we to recast Poseidon Adventure with people from the board.....hmmm.....well....uh....do we have any underwater swimming champions here? Any younger ship enthusuiast in the 12 to 17 range who can deliver the lines about the 700 pound swordfish with the elan they richly deserve? Any female board members who A) match the physical description of said swordfish who B) would not want to punch anyone who likened themselves to a 700 pound sea creature?

There are many good 'bit' parts I'd enjoy playing in this remake. On a low impact day it would be fun to play "Dead Chef Who Makes Susan Scream" with only one close up and then off set of the rest of the shoot. With slightly more energy I'd love to be "Chunky Guy in Nonnie's Band Who Stands Behind Her Beaming Like An Idiot." Of course there is a lot to be said for the part of "Male Member Of Couple Who Appear To Be Reclining Across Two Chairs Making Out When Linda And The Reverend Roll Across The Table And Land On Them" or "Man Hanging From Inverted Table Next to Woman Who Resembles Suzanne Somers In A Bit Part But Isnt Who Tries To Chin-up Herself To Safety"

Oh, and John Crawford played "Mr Cunningham" in The Towerring Inferno. See, now you remember......
 

Jim Kalafus

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Deborah; Can a ship float upside down for any length of time? The PRICE, capsised in the great storm of 1913 floated for quite a while before finally settling to teh bottom, and I have a photo of a freighter (OSHKOSH) floating inverted whuile rescuers attempt to cut through the hull to rescue trapped crew members so, yes, it can happen. The bigger question: can fires burn in a sealed environment like the Poseidon's Engine Room for several hours and A) maintain enough ferocity to immediately cremate the lovely Linda without B) exhausting the oxygen supply and filling the room with toxic fumes?
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Dec 2, 2000
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Easley South Carolina
Another example of a ship floating upside down for an extended length of time was an unidentified vessel found capsized on Lake Superior in the wake of a vicious 1913 winter storm that was the subject of David G. Brown's "White Hurricane." This ship would later prove to be the ore carrier Charles S. Price.
 
Jun 6, 2003
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Has anyone seen "Poseidon-the Musical" by a Chicago theater company. I saw it last summer in NYC. It stuck pretty close to the movie screenplay but there were a number of cross-dressing characters including Belle Rosen who stopped the show with"In the water, I'm a very skinny lady. There is a CD cast album that can be purchased. I can provide the link to anyone who's interested.
 

Jim Kalafus

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I read the preopening publicity, but then never got to see the play. I'm interested in the Cd, but how good was the score? I've been leery of such things since Valley of the Dolls: The Musical a while back.
 

Jim Kalafus

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CASTING DISCOVERY: Just sat through, and was unwillingly drawn into, Victoria Gotti's reality show. I think we've found our 'Linda' for the all star remake.
 
Apr 16, 2001
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Hi Jim,

I wholeheartedly agree - Ms. Gotti gets my vote for "Linda Rogo". I also think James Gandolfini would make an excellent "Mike Rogo". In my opinion, he looks more like law enforcement than a mobster anyway.

Regards,

Mike Findlay
 

Tom Lear

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Aug 22, 2003
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Woody Allen for the James Martin / Red Buttons character. I dunno for Nonnie Parry / Carol Lynley ..... maybe Janet Jackson if she weren't already so old.

Or maybe Michael Jackson as Nonnie, with Bubbles the chimp instead of a dead brother.

On second thought, no, I don't need that visual.
**Shudders at thought of the barber shop scene**

On a more serious note, what ship should be the Poseidon? I nominate NCL's Norway.
 
Jun 12, 2004
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Nice artwork, but didn't the capsized Poseidon explode at the end of Beyond the Poseidon Adventure? If it did, as I remember quite clearly, there wouldn't have been a whole ship to hit the bottom of the ocean. Still, what imagination!
 

Jim Kalafus

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For Poseidon Adventure 'completists' in the NYC area, Maureen "The Morning After" McGovern is coming to Broadway in the musical adaptation of Little Women. She had the #1 chart hit on 'Morning After' 'though it was not her singing it in the film, appeared in the Towering Inferno (as "singer") for which the song she performed won an Academy Award, and is best remembered (in some circles anyway) as the Singing Nun in Airplane who serenades the dangerously ill Jazz Men with a memorably shrill rendition of Otis Redding's Respect. Might make for a memorable evening in the theatre.

About the Poseidon-on-the-seabed Artwork. Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is rather like the Linda Thorsen episodes of The Avengers, or The Sonny and Cher Show when it split into two separate but equally awful shows, or the Scrappy Doo episodes of Scooby Doo, or ALexandra Ripley's Gone With the Wind Sequel, or "Free Like a Bird." Too horrible to contemplate. People who love the originals tend to firmly put those things out of their minds-life is happier if certain things are defensively blocked- and therefore it is best to simply pretend that there WAS no BtPA. Having done that, it is much easier to accept that the Poseidon hit the sea floor relatively intact....and having blocked the mental image of Sally Field screwing up her features, puddling up in tears and whining "he called me.....MONKEY!" after Michael Caine, whom she secretly worships, affectionately refers to her thus, one can function a lot more sanely as a film buff.
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