Randy Bigham was In Praise of ET Adieu to Friends


Status
Not open for further replies.
Mar 20, 2000
3,107
33
323
There is nothing like Encyclopedia Titanica. Even those jealous or critical of Philip Hind would have to admit it.

For myself, I have gained fresh insight into the monumental disaster this site beautifully commemorates, both from the incredible body of data on passengers and crew which Phil has compiled with painstaking finesse, and from the message board which has linked thousands of people together in this our profound common interest.

The ET message board has opened many useful doors of communication for researchers like myself and has lead to the forming of sound friendships. It has entertained - and at times irritated - us all. This forum has also sparked controversy. Anything of value must by neccesity cause controversy.

For the most part I believe Philip Hind has done an admirable job keeping the occasional tone of incivility to a minimum. Still, it's a tough job keeping a balance. I do not envy his difficult position.

Since I began contributing regularly to this forum about this time last year, I have involved myself in some fierce debates, most notably on the everlasting salvage question and the issue of the Californian. I have shared information from my own research and been glad to do so. I have brought up some valid - and a few inane - topics of discussion. I have said too much on occasion and not nearly enough at other times. I have jumped to conclusions and felt very stupid indeed.

But I have mainly listened. I have listened to all of you. Even those of you whom I know only by name, I have heard you and felt enriched by what you have shared. There are people on the ET board from many diverse backgrounds. Many are young. Many are not. We are an odd lot, aren't we? Not unlike the Titanic's complement, whose memory we regale every time we log on.

But the truth is, all those people who set sail happily to America from England and France and Ireland nearly 88 years ago, most of whom never completed their journey, would not have been able to endure a year with one another had the voyage lasted that long. From time to time in those days of ocean travel, one might encounter a former shipboard acquaintance but for the most part, one always met new people.

So it is with our fine group. Some of the names I remember when I first visited ET are gone. Some quite recently, most notably my friend George Behe whose absence is felt every day. I have long contemplated a permanent break since he left, as I was very much in symathy with his reasons for going. But after the particularly unkind treatment dealt me recently, in which I practically felt not only drawn and quartered by the same individual who attacked my friend but found myself almost entirely undefended, I made up my mind to leave for good.

I want to say first and foremost that I respect Philip Hind a very great deal and I do not at all regret our association which has always been amiable. I thank him for his help and I was glad to give him mine.

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to get to know me, in spite of the fact that I am me! I have certainly enjoyed getting to know each and every one of you great people.

I will miss chatting - and sparring - with you in this amazing format. But we can still chat and spar via e-mail. Those of you who know me best, know why I am hurt over the trouble that has arisen.

Maureen, dear soul, you and I have wept and prayed and confided till we've been blue in the face. Mo, you will always have my heart.

Shelley, you beautiful doll, you too have figured me out better than most and I am grateful for your sweetness to me. I will be sad to leave our "Fashions" thread but you must promise to carry it on!

To Phillip Gowan, master researcher extraordinaire and someone I am proud to call a friend, I will miss lurking about all your enticing (and aggravating!) updates on the passengers and crew of Titanic whom you have so lovingly studied and who mean so much to you, I know.

To many others who have been great companions here on the board - and off-line confidantes - I hope we too can keep in touch - Inger Sheil, whom I admire so much, Mike Poirier,who is becoming a great pal, Eric Sauder, Geoff Whitfield, Pat Cook, Paul Rogers, Mike Herbold, Michael Standart, Tracy Smith, Jason Bidwell, Daniel Rosenshine, Jim Kalafus. I will keep you each in mind.

And to those of you whom I am forgetting unwittingly, I hope you will remember me if you should need anything at all. Remember, I am from the South - here we keep open house for our friends!

From my heart, I thank all of you for the opportunity of getting to know you in this unique forum.

All my very best,

Randy
at [email protected]
 
Mar 10, 1998
1,128
6
313
Randy,
If you happen to read this (hoping you aren't really, totally gone)--I am proud to number you among my best and most loyal friends.

Phil
 
Sep 12, 2000
1,513
6
313
Randy,
I too hope you read this. You and I are friends Randy and that will always be. I am sorry I was not here to be a support to you when you needed it.

Your friend.
Maureen.
 

Philip Hind

Editor
Staff member
Member
Sep 1, 1996
1,767
76
323
England
I'm very sorry to read your post Randy and I hope it's just au revoir. However I must confess I have missed these posts which you say lead you feeling "drawn and quartered". I haven't seen any personal attacks and hope you or someone will draw them to my attention.

I'm grateful to you for your contribution to the board and for your kind words in the post above though I hardly think anyone would be jealous of me attempting to steer this wayward ship.

You'll be missed.
 
Dec 13, 1999
1,458
11
313
Randy - don't leave us! This site would never be the same without you. We've had our disagreements but more importantly we've had fun. I know that the other members, just like me, have tremendous respect for you. Sit back with a large gin and tonic and make a list of the reasons why you should stay, I'm sure they will greatly outnumber the reasons for going.

Geoff
 
Aug 29, 2000
4,562
28
323
Darling-pooh! I shan't hear of such a thing. Class, refinement, savoir-faire- good fashion sense, taste, beauty, ART and little ME will suffer horribly- Lucile depends upon you, I depend upon you- legions of fashion victims will wander the board bereft of your scintillating wit, good humor, pearls of wisdom and creamy CHARM. You owe it to your public to stay the course old dear. Have given up bonbons AND petits-fours so we can trip the light fantastic in Newport. See me peering up from under my cloche (grey flannel with a cunning black velvet rose over my shell-like ear) winningly? As Elise McKenna says in Somewhere in Time- COME BACK TO ME!
 

Inger Sheil

Member
Feb 9, 1999
5,343
67
398
Ah, come back, Randy - sit down and have a drink. De-ruffle the feathers. Or rather, ruffle them if it's a feather boa. I don't think anyone sought to attack you personally, but I do know the raw feeling when you're not sure. I think we've all felt a bit bloodied and bruised after a post at some time or another (happens to me at least once a week).

All the best,

Ing
 

Paul Rogers

Member
Jun 1, 2000
1,244
14
313
58
West Sussex, UK
Randy,

You know my thoughts. You will be sadly missed and, I hope, will return soon.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the events behind Randy's decision to leave, maybe some good can come of this - if only we can all learn to think before we type.

Paul.
 
R

Rolf Vonk

Guest
Well said Paul. I also begged Randy to come back (and I hope you will Randy). We can't just say everything what comes up in mind. Even though we would like too. It's important to think at consequences and the unneccesary insulting of people. I can only say that it is very rude to make silly jokes. Randy, we need you back here with us!

Rolf
 
Sep 12, 2000
1,513
6
313
Kudos to Paul! And I agree with Rollie, well said. In my mind it says a lot about a person's whole argument when they resort to personally attacking someone rather than stating evidence rgarding the issue at hand.

But one thing that I have also learned is that this board is comprised of so many ethnic and cultural types that it is hard to know what words or expressions will offend at times. A man in lighthearted banter may refer to a young woman as a "gal" in jest and totally insult her as her background dictates that this is an insult and she could be hurt without the man ever knowing why.

I left here because of me and my need to be the Kool-Aid mom rescuing everybody and I needed to get my thoughts straight and I think that I have resolved many issues within myself. I also met and spent time with Senan and found as many had said that he was a delightful person when you finally get to know him. (but don;t tell him I said so, keep him guessing).

I hope as Phil Hind has said that this is just an until we meet again type of thing and not permanent for Randy. But I also feel like Paul, that we have lost many people on this board due to thoughtless typing of words that can hurt. I have done so in the past. A casual typing of a ship name as the Ice Princess thrown into a heated discussion with someone on the board was taken in an entirely different way than I had intended and I hurt someone very badly and I do not consider myself as a mean person, but how it was taken by this person is what this comment made me into for that moment in time.

If nothing else, I have learned that I need to back off sometimes and think before I type things and I hope that whatever this incident was (I, as Phil said as well, can not locate what it is that has upset Randy) that we try to help each other to stay in check. Perhaps as a group we can come up with a cue or prompt that tells the person that they are on shaky ground...who knows, but I know at times I need something like that and maybe from a friend it would help me to see that I am off track. Or perhaps certain specially chosen moderators could type this code in when they see this happening. Who knows. Just a thought.

Maureen.
 
Dec 12, 1999
997
5
313
Randy,
How come you never organized a "Texas Forum" --there seem to be a lot of Titanica people out there. Take a breather, calm down, and then come back, okay?
 

Jim Kalafus

Member
Dec 3, 2000
6,113
36
398
Randy- YOU conducted yourself properly throughout, in a manner befitting an adult and a scholar, and I hope that whichever decision you make proves to be the right one for yourself. However, by withdrawing, you will be allowing those who would speak rudely to others to "win" by shutting you up, so I do hope that you will be staying on for a long time.
 

Mike Poirier

Member
Dec 12, 1999
1,473
9
313
Randy:
With all this support, how could you not come back??????
The overall is here is good, so just put on your ten gallon hat and come hitch your horse to the post.
 
C

Cátia Lamy

Guest
Randy...
I believe I've never chated with yoy anyway it doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is that, if you go now, many will probably follow (like somehow is happening with you for the non-prensence of Mr. George Behe).

We must NOT forget that must of all this is a place where everyone of us as a chance to give his/her toughts, ideais and theories!

I've seen many times people being rude with others... but sometimes I can't understand if they're joking or serious... So I don't say a word!

But I believe that we must beggin thinking how we say things to people and must of all try to understand them. I believe it's really important that each one of us has in our mind that some know more about this subject than others, but anyway, the theories on Titanic are almost all available since the Titanic is and will be forever a mistery!

Randy, I really hope that you and Mr. Behe come back fast and that everyone one of us as a little bit of carefull when posting our ideas.

Please, let's respect everyone! otherwise we'll never be able to discovery a little bit more of the Greatest Ship and Disaster that was the Titanic!

Better days will come,
Cátia Lamy
 
Aug 29, 2000
4,562
28
323
Men overboard! It's CQD to the rescue mates. The floodlights are lit, the boats are lowered, the lifelines are out, the life rings are in the water- get in the boat Randy and George! Am too old and cold to paddle all night- don't make me sit on this door singing Come Jospehine in my Flying Machine again! Promise you won't ever let go!!!
 

Ben Holme

Member
Feb 11, 2001
714
6
183
Well, I'm not sure what's been going on during my 8 days absence in Sicily, but I'm shocked at this!

As Maureen and Catia pointed out, it is SO easy to misread people or misinterpret the tenor of people's responses when reading responses to posts. It must surley be easier to post in the more heated debates if both parties are aware of the calibres involved i.e they have met them off-line. If the only way to rectify these misunderstandings involves the excessive use of smiley faces to soften the "blow" IF one is needed then so be it! Otherwise, we'll seriously begin to drop like flies which would be extremely disappointing for me as so much of my recently acquired knowledge has come from ET board members.

Randy - I've only had the pleasure of your on-line acquaintance but I've found your contributions regarding Lucile D-G as well as your philosophical insights both fascinating and valuable. I'm sure you'll reconsider.

Warm regards
Ben
 
Sep 12, 2000
1,513
6
313
Ben, it is really a sad tale really. It was the gone wrong coffee in combination with What A Burgers while listening to Geoff, Phil Hind and Phil Gowan singing come Josephine in my Flying Machine that just upset everyone. he he
 
Mar 20, 2000
3,107
33
323
Ben,

All is well. Senan and I are consigned to separate corners. And Ing and I are making up.

I'm back but won't be playing martyr for tortured souls anymore or at least not anytime soon. I will now fight only off-line battles!

The disadvantage of not being able to see your adversary - not to mention not being able to get a few slugs in! - is more than I can deal with!

Randy
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Similar threads