I'm curious about smoking regulations as well. In earlier days, smoking was strictly limited to the smoking room because of the ever present risk of fire. I sailed on one ship where this rule was very strictly enforced. It was on a Windjammer sailing ship which had an entirely wooden interior. If you were caught smoking below decks, you were evicted at the next port, no exceptions. And that was the rule on all ships well into the days of steamer traffic. The notion that one could smoke anywhere at any time is something that evolved over time, but I don't know when ash trays being provided throughout the passenger areas became a common practice.
As for 'the ladies', you could refer to the operetta "The Secret of Suzanne" by Ermanno Wolf-Ferrari. It gives a comic take on exactly this subject at the time. Daring ladies might smoke in a lounge or in the Cafe Parisien and, since it was First Class, would expect the crew to accommodate their need for an ash tray.