The call of nature

Jim Kalafus

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Dec 3, 2000
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Most of it is you-know-who picking up the extension and then allowing annoying sound bleed to come on to the line.
 

Laura Jay

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Dec 3, 2012
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I love this thread! I've had several bowel surgeries and its left me with excessive gas or farts to be blunt. I doubt I would have lasted long on titanic for that reason. ;)
 
Jan 6, 2005
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Iowa, USA
Oh, please.

In many elegant dining venues, it was more than possible to handle these matters with the greatest of delicacy.

All that was necessary was to wait for the dining room orchestra to play something with tuba, order Gorgonzola, and assume an appropriately innocent expression.

Right, Bob?
 

Bob Godfrey

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Nov 22, 2002
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Well, that would work, Sandy. Personally when fine dining I always take along a small animal - dog, monkey, maybe a parrot on the shoulder. Then when the deed is done I can glare at them.
 
Jan 6, 2005
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Iowa, USA
Bob:

When dining aboard a ship, I may have to re-consider this, and use your suggestion. As silly as it sounds, very few ship's orchestras have that greatest of all tuba pieces, "Asleep in the Deep," in their repertoires. Can't think why.
 
Jan 28, 2003
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Exactly when, and where, do you do all this fine dining, Bob? Certainly not when I'm with you, sadly. My most abiding memory is the pie and mash shop at the Arsenal now, mercifully, closed.

And I don't think a mere parrot could help Laura with her problem, and I'm not sure that this rendition of an Asleep in the Deep tuba solo could, either.
Asleep In The Deep- Tuba Solo - YouTube

More efficacious than the Gorgonzola, Sandy, might be Dr.Collis Browne's Chlorodyne, which apparently cures just about everything, including "spasms".
 

Bob Godfrey

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Nov 22, 2002
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The pie & mash shop is sadly missed, Mon, but now there's a snacks stand in a car park close to my house where you can get a real gourmet treat - a bacon baguette which, with a paper mug of tea and a couple of Woodbines, still leaves ample change from a fiver. Something for you to look forward to when you visit - and I'll pay. There ya go. Stated in front of witnesses.
 

Laura Jay

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Dec 3, 2012
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New England, USA
Love this thread, laughed until I cried.
There's references of farting in history. Rostron himself once referenced rude health in his autobio. It was a passing mention but you know what he meant.
Speaking of which, my aunt is a tuba player. I could throw dinner parties and have her play while masking my... problem completely! :)
Anyway, the Pujol youtube video was great. There's a person called Queen of the Burps who can do for her stomach what Pujol did for his rear.