The call of nature

Because he knew of this thread. And knew, somehow, of a way to summon the Titanic souls to produce what Patrick Dennis refered to as "A fanfaronade of flatulence," while we were discussing which 1980s teen films showcased realistic fashions, and which didn't. At first, I think Brandon assumed that the mounting roar of battle was me offering commentary on the wardrobes sported by Corey Haim and Corey Feldman (wardrobes which, offscreen, would have gotten you laughed at or beaten up, back in the 80s) but, soon, the connection was made between the Titanic, flatulent expulsions, and the spirit world.

The dead are amongst us. And, they've been eating escarole...
 
I wonder how he got wind of this thread. Still, coulda been worse. At least you didn't come face to face with the shade of Mr Baba and regurgitations from the dead. But wait a minute. Baba? Baber? Nah, can't be.
 
>Still, coulda been worse. At least you didn't come face to face with the shade of Mr Baba and regurgitations from the dead.

The phantom vomiting noises last manifested when we were discussing "The Beatles on the Titanic" show at Branson, some years ago. Since then they have been all but silent. As I was telling Brandon and Jason, when I get a certain tingling in my surgical scar it can mean one of two things; the dead are reaching out to me, or it's going to rain. Yesterday was one of those rare times when it was both.
 
Your phone line, Jim, is frequently populated with the odd interference of what HAS to be callings from the paranormal beyond. They manifest themselves in many ways. Remember the shrieking voices a few discussions back, Jim? Are you SURE they were the loud kids across the street as their necks seemingly were rung by their parents who were just as unruly as they? Are you sure they weren't voices from the grave calling for help? And do you realize - that the many network errors that we have experienced may not have JUST been network errors? But rather the spirit of the dead interfering with the flow of conversation when conversation switched to subjects to which they were related? OMG!

*starts seeing faces of the dead in the rumpled up kleenexes in the trash can*
 
>Are you SURE they were the loud kids across the street as their necks seemingly were rung by their parents who were just as unruly as they?

Yes, Brandon, I'm sorry to say that I am SURE that irritatingly loud children and their parents now share my formerly quiet patch of the woods. Even Miss Grace, screaming hysterically in Italian while swatting them with a broom handle and driving them back from my acreage, did little to subdue them.
 

Laura Jay

Member
I love this thread! I've had several bowel surgeries and its left me with excessive gas or farts to be blunt. I doubt I would have lasted long on titanic for that reason. ;)
 
Oh, please.

In many elegant dining venues, it was more than possible to handle these matters with the greatest of delicacy.

All that was necessary was to wait for the dining room orchestra to play something with tuba, order Gorgonzola, and assume an appropriately innocent expression.

Right, Bob?
 
Well, that would work, Sandy. Personally when fine dining I always take along a small animal - dog, monkey, maybe a parrot on the shoulder. Then when the deed is done I can glare at them.
 
Bob:

When dining aboard a ship, I may have to re-consider this, and use your suggestion. As silly as it sounds, very few ship's orchestras have that greatest of all tuba pieces, "Asleep in the Deep," in their repertoires. Can't think why.
 
Exactly when, and where, do you do all this fine dining, Bob? Certainly not when I'm with you, sadly. My most abiding memory is the pie and mash shop at the Arsenal now, mercifully, closed.

And I don't think a mere parrot could help Laura with her problem, and I'm not sure that this rendition of an Asleep in the Deep tuba solo could, either.
Asleep In The Deep- Tuba Solo - YouTube

More efficacious than the Gorgonzola, Sandy, might be Dr.Collis Browne's Chlorodyne, which apparently cures just about everything, including "spasms".
 
The pie & mash shop is sadly missed, Mon, but now there's a snacks stand in a car park close to my house where you can get a real gourmet treat - a bacon baguette which, with a paper mug of tea and a couple of Woodbines, still leaves ample change from a fiver. Something for you to look forward to when you visit - and I'll pay. There ya go. Stated in front of witnesses.
 

Laura Jay

Member
Love this thread, laughed until I cried.
There's references of farting in history. Rostron himself once referenced rude health in his autobio. It was a passing mention but you know what he meant.
Speaking of which, my aunt is a tuba player. I could throw dinner parties and have her play while masking my... problem completely! :)
Anyway, the Pujol youtube video was great. There's a person called Queen of the Burps who can do for her stomach what Pujol did for his rear.
 
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