Vote for the funniest thread on the message board

[Jan C. Nielsen]

Vote: (X) Preservation of S.S. Lurline.

I think this is the funniest thread because it was about efforts to set up the former Matson Lines steamer, S.S. Lurline, as a hotel/ship in San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the ship sank on its way to the breakers. Efforts to get the necessary funding to bring the ship to San Francisco had failed. As such, the ship left Tampa, Florida, purportedly to go the the wreckers in Pakistan, or India. I started a thread about it. Shortly after it left Flordia, it had to stop in Brazil, and my feeling was that something was in the works, i.e., that the ship might be headed for San Francisco, after all. Michael Standart didn't think so. We followed the ship on this thread for several weeks. At one point, the ship was reported to be headed for Mexico to have abestos removed from it. But then, unexpectedly, it was learned that the ship was rounding the Cape Of Good Hope, and taking on water. The earlier reports had been false. Finally, as Michael reported, the ship sank off South Africa. It's one of those threads that has a beginning, and a definite end. The fact that the ship sank is probably the best ---a better fate than the breakers. But it should have been brought to San Francisco. Too bad.

 

[Michael H. Standart]

I thought the thread on what cigars Captain Smith smoked took on a humorous twist. Senan, Inger and myself had some fun with that.

Problem is, nobody seems to know what cigars Captain Smith actually smoked.

Cordially,
Michael H. Standart

 

[Sam Brannigan]

Topic: Collision/Sinking Theories: Vigilance Bound: The Real Reason For Titanics Collision.

This one was kicked off by a piece of ridiculous whimsy by Mr Feeney, was quickly followed by the most sublimely funny post by Mr. Gittens before the whole thing was reduced to anarchy, with theories about crew members out to steal Douglas Speddens teddy bear and Mr. Standart doing impersonations of the infamous mummy....there's also a bit of Gardiner-kicking thrown in for good measure too.

I still love it!

Regards

Sam

 

[Michael H. Standart]

(Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp....)

Eh...what's that noise?

(stomp, stomp, STOMP, STOMP....door caves in.)

Awwwwww c'mon Tut-Tut, gimme a break!!!!

(Crash! Splintering wood, furniture overturning...me reaching for flamethrower)

Hay Tut! Get away from my Titanic books!!!!!!!!

'Scuse me everyone while I take care of a pest.

Crunch, breaking glass, thud,

Cordia....aaaaaacccccckkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCER(In bored with it all British accent; )Due to technical difficulties, this board member will be a little distracted. We now return you to your regularly scheduled forum, already in progress.

Is there a doctor in the house?

 

[Sam Brannigan]

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!! The mummy from my favourite thread has awoken!!!!!!

 

[Mike Herbold]

Since you started a funny page, Jan, here's a great message I got from Jerry Wennerstrom. This is a word game where you change one letter of a word and then give it a slightly new definition. What's the Titanic connection? Very little, but Jerry is the grandson of a survivor.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

And, the pick of the literature: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a.......

To his list, I'll add:

Titonic: Fashionable drink for a disaster historian.

 

[Jan C. Nielsen]

Those are good, Mike, here's a few:

Poarl Harbor: a teletubbie's refuge.

Commitator: instructions in stew recipe to toss a potato in.

Hard-a-starbaurd, hard-a-part: sound of a New Englander re-enacting the Titanic's collision with the iceberg.