What's the funniest thing you've seen in a Titanic film

[Thomas Kelly]

My choice is one from Cameron's Titanic -

(DiCaprio and Winslet break through a door)

OFFICER: "Oi! What are you doing! You'll have to pay for that! That's White Star Line property..."
DICAPRIO AND WINSLET: "SHUT THE **** UP!!!"

 

[Jeremy Lee]

ISMAY: "But the ship can't sink!"
ANDREWS: "She's made of iron, sir. I assure you, she can"

 

[Dave Gittins]

The death of Jack Dawson was hilarious. All that lovely blue light! Very corny!

The part where Lowe calls for survivors and gets an echo is another hoot.

Sorry, but I can't take Cameron's chick flick seriously.

 

[Mark Robert Hopkins]

One corny (and unrealistic) line (Rose's):

JACK: "Rose, how did you find out I didn't take it?" [the necklace]

ROSE: "I didn't. I suddenly realized I already knew."

What, is there some great mystical entity confirming and validation young love, as if their love is so 'true' and 'absolute' that it extends beyond Rose and Jack? LOL. I don't think so!

There are more, but that'll suffice for now.

 

[Iain Stuart Yardley]

From A Night To Remember:

Three drunk crew members bouncing off the walls down a passageway, completely lost, come across a steward.
"We're trying to find our bunks, lad"
"Well you can't come this way - this is first / second class. You'll have to go back and turn left / right"
"Beg your pardon, no offence..."
Then the three drunks go back down the corridor and go completely the opposite way.

From SOS Titanic:

The ballroom, where Margaret "I've told you before - call me MOLLY" Brown does that stupid stomp dance with that complete stranger.

From Cameron's Titanic:

A lot of (unintentional) funny moments. Rose hanging off the back of the stern, screaming her girlie head off like a good 'un. The panicked crew member having his nose explode across his face by Rose's punch.

From Raise The Titanic:

The barmaid in the pub where ALec Guiness is showing David Selby (?) his Titanic collection. "Awww, he's gone daft he has!" Not so much funny as cringing.

 

[Jeremy Lee]

>>Sorry, but I can't take Cameron's chick flick seriously<<

The entire love story is a BIG joke. What a waste of time.....

 

[Thomas Kelly]

"The entire love story is a BIG joke. What a waste of time....."


I thought the ending was the most laughable part of that film. I mean, Titanic as a Heaven?!

 

[Kritina Johnston]

"What, is there some great mystical entity confirming and validation young love"

A lot of simple tricks and nonsense, that's more like what was confirming their "love"...but that's just a random opinion.

And to me, the funniest moment in a Titanic movie is in ANTR, when Kenneth More as Lightoller is talking to the on-screen Sylvia before he goes onboard. There's a comment he makes about garters (I think)...but it was funny, because it just seemed that it almost could have been said by the real-life Lightoller.

I can't remember the exact quote, at the moment...sorry.

 

[Dave Gittins]

Sylvia in ANTR was a hoot in herself. The real lady was an Australian and walked with a limp. I think she had a club foot. Lightoller, of course, was Kenneth Moore. Another fun person was Cyril Evans, who was apparently let out of the old folks' home to play the role.

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Robert Wagner trying to lure Annette Sturges into a dance with the line."The band is as slick as beets" is fairly memorable. The "frilly bows" Lightoller garter exchange is funny, as well as the on the train discussion about the Great Unwashed and Vinolia Otto Toilet soap for the First Class. The award for the longest running laugh might go to David Warner and Billy Zane racing around waving a gun and scowling, menacing, threatening, shooting and muttering all over a sinking ship-the Grand Staircase scene at the end being the zenith of Snidley Whiplash, mustache-twirling Evilness personified. A case for overkill and unintentional hilarity.

 

[Eric Longo]

What about the obviously late 20th Century line "you just seem like an indoor kind of girl.." or whatever it was - so out of place like a post Freud expression on a fake 17th Century painting. That vast majority of the Cameron film was a huge wasted opportunity in my little opinion. As pointed out elsewhere by Jim K, to have a main character chained to a pipe deep below decks after the ship starts sinking - just absurd. I would laugh in the face of anyone suggesting such a plot turn. Or Cal shooting the tip of a newel post off the staircase - just a bunch of nonsense to me - the whole "gunfight at the First Class corral" thing seemed overkill, but then the whole film was heavy handed. Just my .02

Best,
Eric

 

[Fiona Nitschke]

Dear me, where to start?

Intentionally funny or unintentionally? So much to choose from.

ANTR - definitely the frilly garter exchange. What a hoot that one is.

Calvalcade - There is some gentle humour in the exchange between Edward and Edith on Titanic's deck. Not rib tickling, but enough to raise a smile - but only a quick smile soon quashed once we find out what ship they're on.

SOS Titanic - Another vote for when Margaret 'call me MOLLY!' Brown does an extraordinary performance on the dance floor. Mind you, it's more 'hide behind the couch cringeing' funny than 'laugh aloud' funny, if you get my drift.

The Time Bandits -

quote:

Randall (expansively): More champagne.
Waiter: Of course sir...
He walks briskly off, revealing a large sign ‘SS Titanic’ behind him and his colleague.
Randall: And lots of ice!
At that moment there is a rending crunch...

This probably doesn't count, as it's meant to be funny. Some may find the Titanic interlude quite tasteless and lacking in humour though.

Cameron's Titanic - hrm, tricky. The Perils of Pauline chase is probably top of my list.

I must admit to finding the constant disparaging of Cameron's film as a 'chick flick' amusing in light of the number of 'chicks' I know who think very little of that particular cinematic experience - and too, the number of men I saw enjoying the film at the sessions* I attended.

* Yes, 'sessions' plural. I've nothing to hide, although I certainly didn't go back based on the quality of the screenplay. ​

 

[Bob Godfrey]

There are scenes in the 1929 Atlantic which are so (unintentionally) funny that all other contenders pale into insignificance. Best of all is the scene in which officer Lanchester informs an important passenger of the ship's impending doom, followed by a lengthy sequence of pregnant pauses and extended reaction shots that would leave a modern audience rolling in the aisles. But of course the makers of Atlantic were working without a huge budget and at a time when the conventions of silent cinema had not yet been fully adapted to the new medium of sound. The makers of later productions have no such excuse!
.

 

[Inger Sheil]

A swift nit pick - the Jack/Rose line shouted at the overbearing steward worried about damaging WS property was simply 'Shut Up!' - there was no profanity at that point.

I think one of the most hilarious moments in a Titanic movie came near the conclusion of the German telemovie, where a slew of champagne swilling WSL men - including Ismay and Lightoller - seem to be holding some sort of cocktail party, and are gloating on how they've pulled one over on Senator Smith by getting away scott free!

 

[Thomas Kelly]

"A swift nit pick - the Jack/Rose line shouted at the overbearing steward worried about damaging WS property was simply 'Shut Up!' - there was no profanity at that point."

Oh yeah, my mistake.

 

[sharon rutman]

In Titanic '53 Richard Sturgess reassures his now nervous wife that there's no danger, and all this fuss and bother about lifeboats is merely a part of the corporate mind to deliberately inconvenience people to show they're on the ball.

A frustrated Cal in Cameron's Titanic yelling "The damned English, doing everything by the book!" To which Ruth responds, "There's no need for language, Mr. Hockley!"

Ruth seems to corner all the good lines though and she comes across like a real dingbat. Among the following gems:

Will the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope it won't be too uncomfortable.

Ruth to Trudy: "I'll want a cup of tea when I return."

A frustrated Rose tries to explain that the sea was freezing and most of the people were going to die. To which Cal, Mr. Sensitivity, responds, "Not the better class."

Cal, grabbing the little immigrant girl as he shamelessly tries to manuver his way into the last lifeboat, explains to the officer, "I'm all she has." Cal probably hated kids and couldn't wait the palm the screaming brat off to someone else.

 

[Don Tweed]

The baker in ANTR will always be my fave. From wagging his finger and the look he gives the bottle of spirits in his cabin always makes me laugh. And when the decks are sloping and no one else can stand, there he is still walking up the deck. He throws the deck chairs overboard and sees swimmers reach them and the look on his face is, "I did good there!" And of course, "All roads lead to Rome." But the look in his eyes are that the only real road is the one back to his cabin and his little buddy waiting on the dresser.
Best Regards, Don

 

[Robert T. Paige]

Several scenes in "Titanic (1953).

First, two examples of how well Clifton Webb did the eternal snob, and how well Barbara Stanwyck countered him:

Richard tells Annette to pick up little brother Norman in the tailor shop on the way to the Captain's table . To which she replies,"I'm not going into the dining room with him !"....Richard's reply, "Then trail behind him at a respectful distance !"

Richard and Julia are arguing over Norman. Richard: "I have plans for Norman."
Julia: "What plans ? To grow up to be you ?"
Richard: "Possibly. I'm satisfied."

That World War II life raft being (attempted ?)launched ! How in the world did that ever get past the editing or the cutting room floor ?

On the Spanish language sound track, "God Save The King" repeatedly played over and over as the lifeboats are being filled.

And of course the shot of Titanic striking the iceberg on the Port side !

Regards,
Robert

 

[Michael H. Standart]

>>And of course the shot of Titanic striking the iceberg on the Port side !<<

There's a classic for you! What's even more amazing is that the berg is still presented on the starboard side. (Oh well, one outta two ain't bad!)

 

[John Clifford]

I will also add the aggravating image in the 1996 CBS Mini-Series: Titanic is docked in Southampton, with the Starboard side to the Docks. Guess nobody involved with that Mini-Series ever saw the actual pictures of the Titanic docked in Southampton.