Also, while Wilde had lost his wife I believe he had children to care for?
Wilde knew if he were to die his children would be taken care off. On the 14th of January 1911 he altered his will in which stood:
"I appoint my sister in law Mrs Annie Jones Williams to act with my trustees as the Guardian of my children during their minority and to be consulted by my trustees as to the education and advancement in life of my children until the youngest child attains the age of twenty one years..."
And I believe Murdoch, while married, was childless?
There is a hearsay tradition that Ada did state in later life that her only regret about her marriage to William was that they had no children, which could mean that possible, considering she approached an age where conception and childbirth would be more difficult, they could have been trying for a family. However this is purely speculative.
1) as the officer in command at the time of the collision, I think it is reasonable to assume that he was likely already second guessing himself - his orders, his actions, etc. - and wondering what he could have done differently to have prevented the collision (regardless of whether he actually could have done anything else);
If what Boxhall said was true, he knew he couldn't do more than he did already. Based on Murdoch his credentials being the only officer who passed all his examinations (second, first, master and extra-master) in one try together with preventing a collision on the SS Arabic (II) in 1904 by keeping the ship on course.
3) he probably would have played it out in his mind that were he to survive, he surely would have been scapegoated in the press and in the public's mind, perhaps ending his opportunities for advancement in his profession or even worse ending it altogether
And wouldn't Wilde have felt the same? He had made it to captain of the SS Zeeland and was soon to command the SS Cymric and suddenly he's in this disaster as well where the four surviving officers never made it to captain. The White Star Line would likely won't give him a command either then, but that would be purely speculative. Lightoller, Pitman and Lowe were off-duty as well like Wilde when the iceberg hit and still the Titanic disaster likely directly caused for their careers not to advance further.
4) he might worry that his infamy would attach in some manner to his wife, affecting her life permanently.
And how about Wilde then? Wouldn't the bad name of being the chief officer on the Titanic who survived while 1495 others survived be a stain to his family too? Like Mr. Ismay, some survivors would have stand up for Murdoch no doubt because they would own their lives to Murdoch.
IF he was in this frame of mind, he might fear that random chance might see him pulled to safety into a lifeboat after the ship had foundered. IF these stressors were enough to get him to a point where death seemed like the preferable option, there was one way to make sure it occurred.
The same applies to Wilde too. Why would you prefer a slow death in the water over a quick one (?), a chance to be reunited again with your wife, your two sons, your father whom you never met, your mother who died when you were 9 and your only living brother who died 11 years back.
As to the other officers to have perished - Smith and Moody - for reasons which may or may not make sense to others, I have always thought that Smith would have been to obvious- the rest all looked pretty much the same to most observers - and Moody, at 24 and at the start of an exciting career would, I think, have remained active throughout without giving much thought to the subject.
While captain Smith was armed most evidence points to him either being washed away from the bridge or jumping overboard (with the most evidence pointing to the later). The bottom-line is he ended up in the water.
As for Moody, it must be noted that there's no evidence he had a firearm with him. He wasn't present when the Webley revolvers were carried out shortly after lifeboat number 6 was lowered and while this is purely based on his character he doesn't seem to be the type to own a private pistol or revolver like fifth officer Lowe. An additional note I want to make it that Moody viewed his career on sea as only a temporary one.
1st Officer Murdoch was undeniably a hero that night, and none of this speculation undermines that fact. Suicide is not a sign of weakness or cowardice or any other such thing (I am not suggesting that anyone here has implied this - but there are still too many people today who reflexively think of it that way).
I personally don't think suicide in that situation would be a sign of weakness of cowardice either, but the point is that there is evidence to point out Murdoch was alive by the time the starboard side went under (this coming from second officer Lightoller and a second-hand story from scullion John Collins) with him being washed away, not to mention that studying Murdoch his life and career at sea (rose-coloured glasses excluded) he seems to be the type of model officer who wouldn't stop until he did everything he could.
I personally think an officer shot himself, and while we never will know the truth about it, or the identity of the officer I do believe the two likely officers were Wilde and Murdoch and with
Wilde his letters being more public now-days I believe a hypothesis of Wilde his state of mind can be made at that moment, which wasn't possible back in 1999 when
George Behe did the same on Murdoch. If it was Wilde, it in my book would be perhaps the most tragic end.
