South Pole Expedition 2006

[Bob Godfrey]

Well, yes, I did say all that when I was 72, but that was a long time ago. It's not fair to remind a man of the errors of his youth. And for the record, this CSP theory might well explain the recent behaviour of Ms Shelley, 29, but Molony, 97, and myself have been observed in a senseless condition on numerous occasions, and without recourse to any means other than those commonly available in a four-ale bar or house of ill repute.

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Actually the psychic signals, wafting through the ethers, are being received, apparently, as I have indeed just returned this very day from a two-day jaunt to the hospital, er...romancing the "stones" (of the kidney variety). The prognosis is good, and after a bout of lithotripsy (which sounds as if it may involve a good dry sherry) they say I shall be right as rain. But then the scans of the brain showed some unusual misfirings, loose connections-and caused the technician to blanche a whiter shade of pale.....

 

[Bob Godfrey]

That's good news, Shelley. You can celebrate by treating yourself to one of these fine promotional ET dolls that Phil is marketing. The bad news is that you can only get your doll by buying the complete 'South Pole' set which includes myself, Molony and Inger.

 

[Senan Molony]

Hospital confessions:

I am making progress. I, and my publicist, Kate Moss, thank Mr Bigham for helping us to realise what is, at rock bottom, a rock bottom issue.

I further confess, which I had hoped to keep secret, that I gratuituously [(© Noel F. Jones] made a mock of a guinea pig having a handle placed up its derriere, because I, Senan Molony, was going, last week, for a prostate exam, the first of my life.

It was a defence mechanism, and I apologise most sincerely to muchacho Hugo.

I now realise, with a great deal of humility, and a large intake of breath, bulging eyes, and a wish that it would stop, that I do not have prostate cancer.

This news may disappoint some, but I am now feeling self-righteous about other men over 40 getting themselves checked out by - ahem - other men, and am actively learning the words to the Maxixe.

Tonight I had four pints. The man midweek said my girth had moved from the green part of the tape to the orange part. Very close to the red.

I am thoroughly ashamed and I confess all.

 

[Shelley Dziedzic]

Confession, Dear Brother, is good for the soul. But as St. Augustine said- "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not just yet."

About those collector series dollies there Bob, are batteries included? And there seems to be an accessory pack missing from Molony!

 

[Randy Bryan Bigham]

Bob has agreed to a cease-fire, thank the Lord, as I’d hate to take down such an elderly man. That brings me to the real news item of the day, which is that Senan is 97 years old. This tends to support the rumor, much circulated, that the famous writer was actually on the Titanic. In light of the, uh, penetrating confessions above, was it he then, and not Edith Russell, who saved little Maxixe?

I thought I’d share one last installment in the flurry of tabloid hype about the recent case of ET message board insanity. Here, in the Weekly Waves Digest, Inger Sheil weighs in on the situation:

 

[Michael H. Standart]

Well, the Weekly World News just isn't complete without a Titanic related story.

 

[Senan Molony]

I thank the community for their support and profusely apologise if *too much information* was supplied in my own case.

I am consoled, at least, that I didn't suffer the appalling fate of Sidney recounted in Randy's latest news clipping.

They held a candlelit vigil in him.

>shudder<

Heaven forfend!

 

[Bob Godfrey]

Randy, that's an interesting pic of Inger in your latest news exclusive. She appears to be wearing nothing but an intricate tattoo. I'm curious to know what that might reveal - signatures of survivors, perhaps? Detailed maps showing locations of wrecks and suitable diving locations? Groucho Marx used to sing "you can learn a lot from Lydia" (the tattooed lady). Maybe, on close inspection, Inger would be equally instructive.

 

[Bob Godfrey]

Senan, as Mr Joyce (almost) said: One by one we are all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age.

And speaking of Mr Joyce, as he and you know full well, the real reason why King Billy's statue went missing was to avoid further confusion on the part of Patrick Morkan's horse Johnny, late of the glue works.
.

 

[Senan Molony]

Hello Bob,

In answer to your private email, no, they found no angels.
Should you go yourself? - I suppository it is a matter for the individual.

Yes, this idea of dying gloriously and leaving a beautiful corpse is central to our South Pole Expedition. As you know, no plan has been formulated for getting back safely, as that would be unheroic.

I am, however, greatly pleased to see that as the year closes in, many more people appear to be interested in the possibility of losing their way, if not their lives, in icy wastes next April.

I welcome those new volunteers who have gone away reading the handsomely embossed brochure, and I express the hope that old friends who have thawed out on this thread might find the ice seizing their hearts again as of old.

I am thinking of Ian Scotland Yardley, of Ben Holme/Ben All Around the World, that chap Poirot who gathered us all in the drawing room, and of course of his great friend

 

[Senan Molony]

Just on the question you raised about stolen horses, Bob, it would not be strictly accurate to say we turn them into glue.

They are far more likely to be rendered into molasses, which, as you know, is a refined form of shergar.

For some unfathomable reason I now expect Lord Lucan to make his overdue appearance on this thread.

 

[Bob Godfrey]

Indeed. As chief source of motive power at the glue works (or starch mill, if Aunt Kate had it right), Johnny was a valued employee rather than a raw material.

 

[Geoff Whitfield]

Senan,

Sorry to hear that you've had prostate concerns, but glad they got "to the bottom" of things.

Geoff

 

[Senan Molony]

Thanks, Geoffie.

Yes, Devil take the hindmost, as they say.
But then I generally believe it the case that preventive medicine will always come up t rumps.

At least it wasn't as bad as the time I had to go to the STD clinic. I went on the wrong night and ended up in a crowd of women!

Jeez, better not post that on the internet.

My new worry is my two-and-a-half year old daughter.

She has started shouting "Nein!" for No. Does she know something we don't?