Brad Rousse
Member
This may be the wrong place, but I have to confess I really want to say it. I've been more of a lurker than I normally would have in the past, but my tastes in history have diversified exponentially while I was at college for the degree. So before I go to grad school at Fordham, I wanted to say something about Dr. Ballard.
I feel like a bit of a fool about him.
I first heard of Dr. Ballard the same time I first heard about the Titanic, when I was 6 (I'm now 22). It was an interview on Reading Rainbow so basically it was "This is the guy who found a really big ship called the Titanic. It sank and killed lots of people. Here's some pictures!"
And I was just amazed about what he did. I was transfixed by the images of this big, famous ship still recognizable after so many years at the bottom. I actually started to idolize him as a young boy in the sense of him persevering against seemingly incredible odds (finding the Titanic where so many had failed), and never giving up on something he wanted to do. It started a quality of personality people admire about me; my refusal to give up, to slack off, to perceive no matter what challenge or disaster happened.
Meanwhile, the interview had more profound results than becoming ensnared in the story of the Millionaire's Special over the years. My obsession with grabbing anything I could about the Titanic began a thirst for knowledge in general. It started my love of history and sharing my knowledge with people. And, perhaps with some justice, it was how I first started to find out about New York City, now the "icon" of my studies. Literally, a passing of the torch.
But above all was my respect for Dr. Ballard. When my entry essay for Susquehanna University had the prompt "who inspired you the most," I did it on Dr. Ballard. I gained early acceptance, in part because of the passion of my essay.
If you can't tell at this point, without that boyhood idolization of Robert Ballard, I would have been an entirely different person. Sure, I'd have heard of the Titanic at some point, but what turned into that profound seed would probably have been "Oh, a dumb chick flick" far too late to have such a profound impact.
Then came the past few years...
Obviously, as I grew up, my boyhood idealism started to fade and I saw him as, well, a human being. I learned that the discovery of the Titanic was a cover for a Cold War operation. That's okay, he still found her...
But, over the past few years, I've seen him turn into more and more of an egotistical jerk. The way he acts like only he knows what's best for the wreck. How he dismisses new discoveries and investigations with literally "Big deal... get over it." The sensationalist approach he took in his book and special "Return to Titanic." How he basically pulled the rug out from under the French half of the expedition. How he was coming up with bizarre solutions to save the wreck (painting it?!) and griped about his plaque being missing.
And, just today, something I never thought would happen happened: I read that letter from Nargeolet just now and I... was agreeing with him at some points. I was infuriated with the actions of RMS Titanic Inc, but now that I've seen the value of artifacts through my learning how history works, he seems even more of a selfish, egotistical jerk.
So, I'm really at a lost for words. It really does read as a stereotypical story: you meet your hero, and he's an utter jerk. Part of me is heartbroken that this is what's becoming(is?) of the man who inspired me so much. I've had suspicions about it, but the Nargeolet letter has been a bit of a nail in the coffin.
So... what do you guys think? Have I been a fool? Am I "justified" in a sense? Am I being too harsh or forgiving? Should I try to remember Robert Ballard primarily as the selfish egotist he seems to be, or the persevering figure that made such a profound impact on my life?
I feel like a bit of a fool about him.
I first heard of Dr. Ballard the same time I first heard about the Titanic, when I was 6 (I'm now 22). It was an interview on Reading Rainbow so basically it was "This is the guy who found a really big ship called the Titanic. It sank and killed lots of people. Here's some pictures!"
And I was just amazed about what he did. I was transfixed by the images of this big, famous ship still recognizable after so many years at the bottom. I actually started to idolize him as a young boy in the sense of him persevering against seemingly incredible odds (finding the Titanic where so many had failed), and never giving up on something he wanted to do. It started a quality of personality people admire about me; my refusal to give up, to slack off, to perceive no matter what challenge or disaster happened.
Meanwhile, the interview had more profound results than becoming ensnared in the story of the Millionaire's Special over the years. My obsession with grabbing anything I could about the Titanic began a thirst for knowledge in general. It started my love of history and sharing my knowledge with people. And, perhaps with some justice, it was how I first started to find out about New York City, now the "icon" of my studies. Literally, a passing of the torch.
But above all was my respect for Dr. Ballard. When my entry essay for Susquehanna University had the prompt "who inspired you the most," I did it on Dr. Ballard. I gained early acceptance, in part because of the passion of my essay.
If you can't tell at this point, without that boyhood idolization of Robert Ballard, I would have been an entirely different person. Sure, I'd have heard of the Titanic at some point, but what turned into that profound seed would probably have been "Oh, a dumb chick flick" far too late to have such a profound impact.
Then came the past few years...
Obviously, as I grew up, my boyhood idealism started to fade and I saw him as, well, a human being. I learned that the discovery of the Titanic was a cover for a Cold War operation. That's okay, he still found her...
But, over the past few years, I've seen him turn into more and more of an egotistical jerk. The way he acts like only he knows what's best for the wreck. How he dismisses new discoveries and investigations with literally "Big deal... get over it." The sensationalist approach he took in his book and special "Return to Titanic." How he basically pulled the rug out from under the French half of the expedition. How he was coming up with bizarre solutions to save the wreck (painting it?!) and griped about his plaque being missing.
And, just today, something I never thought would happen happened: I read that letter from Nargeolet just now and I... was agreeing with him at some points. I was infuriated with the actions of RMS Titanic Inc, but now that I've seen the value of artifacts through my learning how history works, he seems even more of a selfish, egotistical jerk.
So, I'm really at a lost for words. It really does read as a stereotypical story: you meet your hero, and he's an utter jerk. Part of me is heartbroken that this is what's becoming(is?) of the man who inspired me so much. I've had suspicions about it, but the Nargeolet letter has been a bit of a nail in the coffin.
So... what do you guys think? Have I been a fool? Am I "justified" in a sense? Am I being too harsh or forgiving? Should I try to remember Robert Ballard primarily as the selfish egotist he seems to be, or the persevering figure that made such a profound impact on my life?